Three Years

Side Note: I wrote this just after Easter but was unable to post it due to being locked out of our account for various reasons (ahhh, Africa).  Finally got things sorted out last week!

Three years.  It feels like such a milestone.  And yet, I actually almost forgot about it.  Because this year, the anniversary of our arrival in South Africa fell on Easter Sunday.  The day we boarded a plane, leaving family, friends, and all things familiar was (this year) Good Friday.  And the day in between, a mid-air blur of grief and anticipation, when we were neither here nor there but somewhere in the middle, was Saturday. The symbolism here does not escape me friends.  But I didn’t have time to dwell on the remembering like I normally would. We were busy. Caught up in the activities of our life here and the traditions of Easter. Remembering, instead, the sacrifice and celebration that is Easter; the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ our Savior. In fact, it wasn’t until my dearest friend posted a memory of our leaving home that I stopped, did the math, and wide-eye remembered.  HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN OUR 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY?!?!  In the blink of an eye all the memories and emotions surrounding that time came flooding in, and I was sad.  Sad for all we’ve missed over the last three years.   
Sad for memories we haven’t made, the people we haven’t seen, the events we haven’t been a part of.   
Sad for the part of our world that keeps moving even though we’re not there…and it can be overwhelming to feel all of that.  
It can feel like too much of a sacrifice for me to make.

But then I remembered, again, God and the sacrifice He made in sending us his Son.  Any sacrifices that we have made pale, PALE, in comparison to the sacrifice Jesus made for me. Without His ultimate sacrifice-- his willingness to lay down his life and die on the cross the death meant for me, so that I might receive the gift of living in relationship with Him and his Father, now and forever-- I wouldn’t be able to choose to sacrifice anything.  Sacrifice is always a gift if given rightly. 

Romans 12:1 says “Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship.” (CSB)  Other translations call it our “reasonable” act of worship.  In view of all God has done to rescue me from my sin, to redeem my life from Satan, to reverse my eternity in hell, offering myself as living sacrifice is not only my reasonable response--it’s both the least and most I can do. The gift I think I’m giving turns out to be an even better gift that I receive.  It’s only in laying down the life we think we have that we find the life we’re meant to have.

The more I thought about this the better I felt. This anniversary the story of Jesus overshadowed our story! It turns out, my forgetting was actually the fruit of a prayer that I’ve been praying for the last year.  It signified some heart change that I’ve been asking the Lord make in the areas of contentment and joy.  And in that moment of forgetful remembering I was no longer sad, but so so grateful. 
Grateful for how far the Lord has brought me. 
Grateful for his abundant grace poured out in my life.  
Grateful for his unending mercies, new every morning. 
His work in and through me is ongoing, intimate and deeply relational.  Jesus began a good work in me when he saved me and he will carry on, transforming me into His image from the inside out by the power of his Holy Spirit, until the day I see him face to face.  What an amazing promise! The goal is always to look more like Christ.  To be overshadowed by Jesus. For His love and light to be the thing people ultimately see and remember.  I am no longer who I was, and not yet who I am becoming. Hallelujah!

I still have a long way to go.  The becoming is rarely easy, usually uncomfortable. Too often I get caught up in feeling sorry for myself, wishing I was there instead of here.  Wishing I had that instead of this. Wishing I was more instead of not enough. Too often I allow the enemy to influence my thoughts or take my gaze off Jesus.  I stumble and fall more often than I’d like to honestly admit.  But with Jesus there is always forgiveness when I ask for it. He offers grace and mercy when I don’t deserve it. He is always the strength overcoming my weaknesses. He is always the peace that smothers my doubt. He is always the more than enough that fills the gaps of my less than.  To everything that I am not, he is always the “I AM.”

And he longs to be that for you too.  Always.  My Jesus is a patient pursuer. Turn to him with the things that weigh you down so he can lift them off you. Give him your mud and your messes.  And he will give you all of himself.  He will make you a new creation and give you a Kingdom purpose.  Trust me, it’s a good exchange.

Three years.  It IS a milestone.  But it is just the beginning.  There is so much more God wants to do in me and through me, wherever He leads. My job is just to listen, say, “Yes” and stay in his shadow.
--Carolynn

June 2015 Newsletter

June Newsletter

When I think back on the events of this month, I can't help but recall certain ones. This was the most difficult span of time we have had here yet, but there were also some really encouraging and significant positive things that we focus our thoughts on more. We have much to be thankful for and see the work of Gods power and love in our midst. Perhaps the most rewarding signs are the blessings He pours out on those we minister to, such as Leona's new baby boy. (We talked about her in a previous post).

Carolynn had her first African birthday on the 26th.  She has recovered very well from delivering Titus and is back into the routine of washing clothes, baking, washing dishes, keeping the house cleaned, and taking care of the children. Her rest time is when she gets to feed Titus. She also takes advantage of every opportunity to enjoy a play date with new friends we have made. It's fun to hear stories from her when she gets home from a long play day. 

Lucas started a three week break for school, so he has been helping around the house and shop when he isn't busy playing outside. He witnessed a fight outside our gate where people congregate to drink at all hours of the day. One guy got hurt and was bleeding a lot. The police picked a man up and took him away. Luke says it made him feel sad to see a person hurt another that way. He says he is pretty sure the guy got stabbed. Amelia tries her hardest to keep up with Luke and has built her own "fort" like her brother out of rubble and sticks from our yard. Even though the weather is cold, we can't keep shoes on either of them! They come in at the end of the day dirty and full of stories.  They also like to hang out in the shop on occasion, meeting those who come to talk or buy. Lucas has also gotten a job cracking pecan nuts for a local doctor. James also tries to keep up with everyone, but has some trouble doing so, and he responds by exploring and experimenting with everything. He is very curious so if there is a way to get into something, he will find it! Titus eats, sleeps, and poops. At his 6 week appointment he weighed 6.2 kg. He is a very happy and content baby and has started smiling and cooing. 

Carolynn and I went to Cape Town to get the paperwork required for Titus taken care of and were able to have some quality time together. It was the first time we have had a significant amount of time alone since we moved here. Thankfully we were able to get a ride with a friend, which turned out to be filled with encouraging conversation. Titus is now officially a U.S. citizen with a passport!

We felt like we had the go ahead to open the storefront of our house this month, knowing that it would take a lot of our time. We sell basic groceries as well as homemade soup and fresh baked goods along with produce from our garden. I make a different soup each morning and Carolynn impresses people with her baking skills daily. She has made and sold over 100 loaves of banana and lemon bread. We have been told that people are talking about the soup and baked goods around town, so hopefully we can get the business rolling. We are utilizing half the shop space currently, but hope to expand to the other half as soon as possible. We meet a lot of people through the shop and hope to employ some workers. Our vision for the other half is to make a sitting place where people can eat and drink while they play games and just hang out. We want to have Christian education resources available and encourage people to talk about God and ask questions. Local friends have donated tables, chairs, and sofas to be used for this. We need to paint, finish the floor, decorate, and complete the furnishing.  Marizel is working for us while she is on break. She gets minimum wage at this point, which the shop is not able to pay, so we give it to her out of pocket. Less than $10 for an 8 hour day. Our minds are starting to convert to South African currency and prices. Believe it or not, her pay seems like a lot to me, as the shop's gross income was about $60 last week. 

The downside with opening the shop is that we have a space with a large amount of value in it. Anything with value becomes a potential target for theft. The second weekend we were open, the shop was broken into in the middle of the night. About $50 in cash and goods was stolen. Thankfully, there was no vandalism and they didn't come into the house. I made some minor adjustments to make the space more secure, but I still wake up at night checking the shop often. I hope to make some more permanent fixes that the owner of the house and I have talked about.

The next detail of the shop I hope to expand on is to help the farm workers get what they need. Many live out on the farms and get transportation once or twice a month to town. They typically get paid monthly. I want to make deliveries out to the farms during the times that they are out of goods and transportation. The previous shop owner did this and I would like to continue his legacy of "helpmekaar" (we help each other). Building relationships with those groups that don't necessarily get the opportunity to go to church or hear the Word of God is important. I'm praying that God will open up those doors.

I continue to pray at the hospital and make my rounds when I can through the townships. I have found that the surface has been broken, revealing a much more difficult picture than I first saw. The openness and quick progress we first felt was, in many ways, false. We need to press on and in to build real relationships with people everywhere. The importance of being here long term is much greater in my thinking now. 

As we continue to become members of the community and learn the languages, I can see glimmers of light beginning to shine. We are attending a small group meeting on Thursday evenings with a family that immigrated from Zimbabwe several years ago. It's amazing how God places people with hearts that are unified together. In our meetings, we have talked about topics and themes that have been close to my heart that week. The Holy Spirit guides and counsels!

Prayers this month are very important to us. We hope to move forward with expanding the shop space, so provisions and free labor are needed. Peace and restful nights would be appreciated. Protection and blessings over the work that is being done with the shop. Courage, knowledge, and wisdom to be ours. We really appreciate the prayers and support from everyone. We take great comfort in knowing we have a solid group with us. Feel free to contact us throughout the month. It's encouraging to hear directly from our friends. Thanks again! We love you all!

1 Corinthians 16:14 "Do everything in love"

Wow! How time goes by! Our second month is coming to a close and it feels like we just sent out our first newsletter. God continues to fill us with joy and hope as a result of His unwavering faithfulness. We see His hand moving in our lives and the lives of those we minister to. 

The first boasting of the Lord is the addition to our family! We welcomed Titus Henry on the 15th of May. The labor and delivery went very well. Carolynn went into labor on her own the night before her scheduled induction. With our other three children, she was induced into labor by the doctor. Titus was a big baby according to South African averages, weighing in at 4.015kg. You get to do the math. The staff was very impressed with the "strength of the American woman". They said they are used to babies between 2.5 and 3.0kg. Bigger babies are rarely delivered "naturally". The doctors, nurses, and hospital were all top notch quality. We are so thankful that we were covered in prayer and that the Lord blessed us exceedingly. Titus and Carolynn are doing very well.
The weather is turning colder here as winter approaches. We don't expect to have snow in our yard, but we are told that when we see snow in the mountains, we should bundle up. When the wind comes off them and settles on us, we will know it is indeed winter. Houses are not insulated here and the typical heating arrangement is to carry an electric heater around the house with you. Everyone bundles up, even when they are inside their house. Last week was the first week that I didn't wear shorts in the afternoon. The daylight is also getting shorter.

The garden in the backyard is growing well and I hope to use the produce to prepare frozen meals to sell near cost in the shop. I started cleaning and organizing the shop space, preparing it to be used for ministry. We are still asking the Lord for direction, but right now we feel led to use half of the space for a bakery, and half for counseling, prayer, teen gatherings, and bible study. We are praying that we can provide a job to someone through opening the shop. Shelving and a deep freezer was left for us by the owner but many other items are needed to make it a workable space. 

Our friendship with Marizel continues to grow, and she stops in at least 3 times a week. It's really good to hear about her day and what God is doing in her life. She is a really special girl and though He is working through her now, we can't wait to see how God is going to use her in the future. She hopes to be a heart surgeon and has started looking into her options after she graduates.

We meet many people and have many stories to tell, but we just can't tell them all, so this month we will highlight a teen mom-to-be named Leona. She is 19 and expects her baby within a few weeks. I met her mom, Louise, when I was praying at the hospital. I followed up with her at her home after she was discharged. I found a home with no electricity, no food, 4 children, and no father. As I talked with her, I found that social services was taking her children from her because she could not provide for them. Leona, because she is 19, would stay. I asked them to please come to our home and take some clothing that we have received as donations, to which they were grateful. We gathered around them in prayer before they left. Over the next two weeks, they stopped in a few times and we went to see them a few times. Since then, Louise got a job at a farm making less than $15 per day. Praise God for providing a job! Leona stopped in with a friend of hers one day and we had lunch together. Leona has a baby the same age as James who lives with her aunt. After the baby is born and things get settled for her, Leona hopes to attend night school in order to finish high school. Her dream is to be a social worker.  We have also found that Louise has 7 children in all. We are so thankful to be able to meet people and talk about their lives and pray with them.

Yes, we are thankful for where God has us. Yes, we see fruit growing. However, we are also new to the task God has laid before us in the midst of a new culture. We have no experience in ministry and must rely entirely on God for teaching us. Through the Word, prayer, and relying on the Holy Spirit we are learning.  We see so many things in our day to day lives that stir compassion in our hearts. It pains us not to be able to help everyone, and to understand why we can't. We are also learning wisdom and discernment. Unfortunately, there are many people who have learned to sustain themselves via manipulation. Lying, stealing, and "borrowing" do not carry the same weight as those offenses might in western culture. Often, there are matters of life and death associated with these actions. We are seeing addictions as a catalyst very often as well. We have already experienced the pain of being deceived and manipulated. How we react to trials is of the utmost importance (James 1:2-6). I have been asking God how we need to respond and He continues to tell me "love them anyway." Yes, but how? What does loving a man who asks for money to buy electricity and food, when I know he will be drinking a bottle of wine in a few hours? What does love look like to a woman who asks for clothes because she is homeless and without a job, when she takes more than is needed and sells them on the street? We are learning that we cannot manage everyone, constantly policing their actions to determine if they are "deserving" of our help. We must rely on the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom in every circumstance. Sometimes love looks different than we imagined. Maybe in certain circumstances love looks like saying "No, but do you have some time to sit and talk? I want to get to know you." Through deeper conversation with people we get to know more about the "why" behind their circumstances as opposed to being limited to what we see. It takes more love and more effort to have the conversation, but in the end, it's what we are commanded. 1Cor 16:14 "Do everything in love".

As we sum up this month, we are asking you to pray Colossians 1:9-12 with us over our family. "For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light."

April 2015 Newsletter

April 2015

Greetings from South Africa! Our first month is behind us and we feel overwhelmed with what God has been doing in and through our family. You ask “What could happen in a month?” Well, quite a lot actually. God had prepared many things in advance for us to walk into. When we were here in December, we met a girl named Marizel whom our good friend introduced us to. Little did we know, she would become a great friend and a huge helper in getting us settled and comfortable.  She is a 19 year old girl who has a lot of questions about God and what it means to be a Christian. The church culture here has a lot of legalism and many of her questions are about the “rules” of Christianity.  It’s a joy to be able to have conversations with her and her friends and see how the Lord is changing the way they view Christianity. Our typical routine with them is to hang out and make dinner together. We have conversations about all kinds of things including South African culture, language, school, her hopes and dreams, and God. She is also very curious about America. After dinner we do a devotional and have a short, simple Bible study session. Sometimes we will introduce her to a specific topic that the Holy Spirit prompts. Our friendship continues to grow.

Carolynn is doing well.  As her due date approaches (May 12^th) she is slowing down a bit and needing a little extra help from me around the house.  We went to Worcester, a nearby town, for a doctor visit to make sure we had a doctor to deliver the baby when the time comes. Things went well and we await the day when our little boy arrives. We are praying for a very comfortable, quality experience at the hospital.  Carolynn also keeps busy teaching Amelia and trying to keep James out of trouble! She also thoroughly enjoys washing clothes and dishes by hand every day. Ha!

Our house is comfortable. It’s an old house, over 100yrs old, and you can see where it needs some work, but overall, it’s very impressive, all things considered. There is a storefront that is part of the house that we are praying about how to use. We have been dreaming, but will take things slow.  I know in the back of my mind that there is a great future for it in serving the community.

Lucas started school at the only English speaking school in town.  It works out really well so far, as the location is only a few blocks away. It’s a private, tuition based, Christian education that teaches individuals at their own pace.  The teachers were very impressed with his test results. Though he had not yet finished 2^nd grade in the States, his scores placed him in the middle of 3^rd grade right on track with his peers!  He has to wear a school uniform which also makes him look super smart!

I spend time working in the garden and around the house when I am not out making friends.  I really anticipate the day that I can distribute some of the goods that have grown in the garden to those who cannot find enough to eat. We also have some chickens that are a huge asset for us to have in providing inexpensive food. I like to go out into the township with Lucas and pray for people. Sometimes we just sit and talk with people, learning all we can about their life. There seems to be a theme of alcoholism in this town. It will be overcome by the power of Jesus!  Luke and I go to the hospital and pray for people as well.

 Once in a while, a person will hear about us or just see us and stop at our house to talk. There is one man named Andre who has stopped by twice. He is an alcoholic but also has an amazing gift for playing the guitar.  He has been opening up to me about the pain that has led him to a dependency on alcohol. He has a great heart, but it is so hurt and broken, that alcohol has become his way to cope. I pray for Jesus to capture his heart.  Another woman named Margaret was picking leaves to eat from a vacant area when I noticed her. She had a bad limp and as I got closer, I noticed she was blind in at least one eye. I stopped her and prayed for her leg to be healed and her eyes to be opened. I didn’t notice an immediate correction of her limp or a miraculous coloring of her milky eyes, but she was touched by the Holy Spirit for sure.  As I walked away, I felt a prompting to give her some money for dinner. I reached in my wallet and was going to give her $5.00, but my mind was changed and I gave her $10.00. She broke down sobbing with tears of gratitude. When she picked herself up, she walked with me and didn’t appear to limp anymore. Her spirit had surely been lifted!  I felt hope that her family would be touched by God’s grace and mercy.

Through these interactions I have acquired a list of addresses for future visits.  It seems that God is providing many different opportunities for us to build relationships within the township.

Our current prayer requests include: direction with the shop, direction about getting a vehicle, smooth birthing processes and adjustments, friends for the children, productive garden and chicken ventures, language learning to come quickly, greater understanding of the culture and why alcoholism is so prevalent, and continued interactions that build relationships and trust. Thank you to everyone who is supporting us financially, through prayer, and the many other ways you have found to be a part of what God is doing here is South Africa. We wish we could tell you all that is happening here! It really is exciting! Carolynn frequently posts quick updates and pictures on Facebook so you can keep track of us that way in between blog posts!